Dear Al Gore,

I have a friend without a blog. Here's what he told me. Now I'm telling you:

I'm thinking about writing an open letter to Gore in my blog, urging him not only to run, but also providing him with a campaign strategy. I worked it all out in my head just yesterday: his grand narrative, which the media would eat up like dogs, would be that he's a Cassandra-like visionary, with the internet, with the environment, withIraq. And now, with the future of America. I am deeply underwhelmed by all the candidates in the field, all of whom refuse to take on real issues with any substance. Only a Gore candidate could change the political dialogue: Gore loves the intellectual part of figuring out solutions to tough problems, and I'm sure he's already got ideas on all the major challenges facing our nation in the years to come. And Gore would rather talk substance than shit. He would force the other candidates to reckon with his visionary approach and come up with their own concrete plans. But in order to do that, Gore must have answers: real policy proposals, foreign and domestic. He must have an exit strategy for Iraq, a plan to deal with Iran, a health care plan, ideas for paying down the deficit and strengthening the economy in the face of the E.U. and Chinese threat, a full-scale Climate Change policy, and ways to prepare for retiring and dying baby-boomers (Social Security, Medicare, etc.) His campaign watch-word will be: VisionQuest! Also in my blog, I would unveil my master stroke, my genius maneuver for how Gore could defeat Hillary. It's very simple: Gore must joinforces with Obama. Make him his running mate -- even before the nomination! That's the brilliance of it. A month or so into Gore's candidacy, he should start campaigning with Obama, generating a huge buzz of excitement. They should deny everything, until their campaign staffs integrate, agree on a way forward, and figure out all the legal issues. The press would be frothing at the mouth, and Dems would be out of their minds. Can you imagine a Gore-Obama ticket?! Finally, after a couple weeks of speculation and media hysteria -- say 4 weeksbefore the Iowa Caucus -- they should annonce their joint candidacy. Hillary would be toast. I would write all that in my blog to Gore. If I had a blog.

I'd write that in MY blog, if I had thought to write it at all.
Love,
Your ever-loving, always faithful, deepest, truest fan,
SLC-P

how would you respond?

... if you got the following chain letter in your inbox?

Like a lot of folks in this country , I have a job.I work, they pay me.I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as they see fit.In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test, which I have no problem with.What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check,because I have to pass one to earn it for them ?Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet.I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sit on their ass, and buy dope and booze with my hard earned money.Could you imagine how much money the government would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check ?Please Pass on if you agree.

I can tell you that MY BRAIN MATTER IS ALL OVER THE COMPUTER SCREEN.

where a line should be drawn.

When there's not enough time in my day to check Perez Hilton even once, I know that things have gone way, way too far. And also that I'm not being paid enough. If I were paid enough, I'd have someone else read Perez for me.