Dear curly fry with horsey sauce,
This is my first post to you, nay, to the ENTIRE UNIVERSE! Hello, universe! Today was an excellent day. So excellent that the lowlight of the day was Arby's at 10 am. That means the fun got real big as we celebrated the new year like rockstars in the middle of Wherethefuck, Utah. Why I love today:
- Retractable Sharpies a-go-go.
- Kentucky-Fucking-Fried-Chicken and Arby's in ONE DAY.
- A certain lovable someone's plankton in a bottle.
- I know a secret about someone's wedding dress. It's juicy, folks. And it involves underwear as overwear.
- Son of a gun, there's a blog in the house.
- My jury's still out on Dane Cook, but it was a pleasure to watch him rhapsodize about droopy labia with a dad in the room.
Be well, my savory, salty friend. May your labia be short and sweet.
Until soon and a bag of love,
A pea.
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