It is everything I can do to keep myself from rehashing all of my symptoms and ailments from the past two weeks. I have no idea why I find EVERY SINGLE thing going on in/on my body so endlessly fascinating, but I'm pretty sure it's not so exciting to others. Even though you wouldn't say so, you'd be bored too. So aside from mentioning that I've had an inexplicable metallic taste in mouth and that my hands hurt, I'll keep quiet.
I've said this a million times, but I wish, so so wish, that you could work with me when I get these insane social service jobs because the commentary would be endless! You think diagnosing our friends/enemies/neighbors is fun? It's an absolute goldmine in drug and alcohol treatment. And don't think that I don't constantly flip through the DSM IV that is actually installed on all of our computers (Ack! Crazy Information Technology!). Last night I thought that a great exercise would be to list as succinctly as possible, every drama from one 5 hour shift. Here goes:
- kid accuses foster mom of choking him
- referral made to CPS
- a meeting b/n bio mom (J) and foster mom is negotiated.
- bio mom and foster mom have meeting in which they cry and cry and the rest is too complicated...
- B. (8 months pregnant) seems to have gone into labor. "it feels like I have to poop" staff: "DON'T PUSH!"
- B. goes to hospital
- "people are taking too many tater tots at a time" !!! an investigation ensues.
- R. reveals that she is suicidal and very very sad. She needs a pro bono lawyer. Her perp husband is being represented by the local Legal Aid so she can't use them. She wants her daughter back. I would too.
- L. pulls a stunt and manages to manipulate three staff so she can break some not-very-interesting rule.
- my co-worker exploded a can of air (the kind you use to clean computers) in the office
- Multiple conversations about what L said to whom and when. Detective work.
- We figure out that the tattoo on C's neck says "die all bitches." she hates all women. and all men, according to C.
- J is now completely overwhelmed because her kids who were in foster care (see above fiasco with abuse allegations) are now with her and are running around screaming.
- J's new baby, which I am holding so she can put kids to bed, pukes all over me.
- B returns from hospital carrying an enema. Doc: "you're constipated" B: "I went to the bathroom TWICE today" We started boiling the water and clearing off the table.
- JC's daughters starts to crawl. CHEERING!
- We finally confront L. who threatens to "turn you (us) in to your boss". okay.
- While being piss-tested, A. has a breakdown about her treatment. My co-worker is stuck in a tiny bathroom managing the breakdown for 45 minutes.
- add in about 10 crying babies and a couple of kids throwing tantrums.
Seriously, this could go on and on. The reprieve comes when they go to bed. Unless someone goes into labor or starts puking. Then it starts again. So meanwhile, I have no time to google all my symptoms while at work. WTF?
That's what I've been up to. As I was typing, I remembered that I'm working the grave shift tonight and I feel pretty safe saying that B will probably go into labor on my shift. Okay, enough of my keyboard diarrhea.
I miss you and you're missing all the fun,