what to do if you feel weird

1. Call husband up.
2. Say, "I feel weird. Why do you think I feel weird?"
3. Get crabby when he doesn't know.
4. Go to work.
5. Sneak a pregnancy test from the closet.
6. Stash it in your purse.
7. Go to bathroom.
8. Wonder the the hell you're going to pee in.
9. Pee in the plastic/foil envlope the test comes in.
10. Do test.
11. Notice that it's negative.
12. Make note that you don't feel weird because you're pregnant.
13. Eat 3 little candy bars.
14. Ask co-worker why she thinks you feel weird.