I needed dog food anyway. So why let the madness go on any longer? The pregnancy tests are, of course, right at the front of the pharmacy in a big glass case with all the other dirty pharmacy products. The cabinet wasn't locked, but it made a big ol' screeching sound when I opened it as an entire row of people watched me from two feet away. Hi everyone, I'm here because some sperm may have squirmed up my vagina into my uterus. That's right, I had the sex. More than once.
I'm not pregnant. Why am I disappointed? Why did I wait and wait for the plus sign? (with piss all over my hand, obviously) Now I can go study, drink margaritas, smoke cigars, fall down stairs, eat lunch meat, take lots of meds, and live my life.
Crisis averted. Neurosis: still here.
love your barren friend,