Saturday, February 3, 2007

Happy Birthday, Mindiappolis Mindessota!

Dear Pea,
Our mutual friend is so young that I can't even remember how young she is. She's like 19 or something like that. Barely legal. You know, maybe she is the better woman for your boy. I'm just saying. They get along well in their mutual hipness and desire to make out and crap. Well anyway, provided she doesn't make some kind of creepy-ass grab for your man, I'd like to plan our ideal day together were we all in your city...
  • Cupcakes or maybe, since it's a very fancy day, a WHOLE cake. Which I will eat right before yoga class (at the fancy yoga place) so I can watch it come back up during downward dog.
  • manicures and pedicures, because the last time we did that we totally tore up the salon.
  • I think Mindissippi might like some keds with whales on them. It's just a (completely misguided) hunch.
  • Since she's not legal, we'd have to buy bottles and paper bag it all day.
  • Also, since she's probably not even 18, we could take a bunch of XXX nudie shots, sell them, and go to jail.
  • Sushi. I know she likes sushi. That's cause she likes raw fish, if you know what I mean. HAR HAR HAR.
  • Wait, don't you guys have a guy you want to hook her up with? Seriously, Mindylvania, they do.
  • Tattoos. We rotate. Mindectomy gets a big tat of your face on her left breast, You get a big tat of me on your left breast, and I get both of you on my left breast.
  • Then we have hermit crab races.
  • Then there's the sack races, the three-legged race, pin-the-tail on the donkey, and spin the bottle.

Happy birthday, friend! Pea and I are planning your escape from Utah. Worry not, you'll be outtie in no time.

And pea, I miss you. If you were here, I might be able to pull together some wacky-ass b-day celebrations. As it stands, I can take pictures of hair products (which will be debuting soon) and that's about as energetic as it gets.

love you much and more,


p.s. can't wait to hear about the apartment. YIPPEE!


pea in a pod said...

Happiest of Birthdays to my fiance's girlfriend! I will wait to blog until tomorrow so that pea's lovely tribute to you stays at the top. We miss you, especially your BOYFRIEND!!! We'll listen to the Mindechussets Mix today and dance around like maniacs.

Hugs from afar,

A pea

savascha said...

B-pea and K-pea,

you two are so similar in your adorableness. I could take both of you to Stuffingtown, in a heartbeat!
I wish I'd had both of you here to help me chug vodka, eat a pan of brownies, and watch Say Anything over and over.

By the way, B-pea, tell my boyfriend (your fiance) hello. And then, smoosh Fletcher nearly to death with kisses from me.

I'm working on a trip to NY. I have to tread the daddy waters very carefully.

pea in a pod said...

Dear Mindy Driver,

FUCK THAT DUDE!!! Come stay with us. Then we'll happen to run into him somewhere and we'll be like, "oh, you live here too? Really? I totally forgot! Sure, we can do lunch sometime, I'll check my schedule and let you know..."