Monday, April 2, 2007

how not to write an e-mail

"WE HAVE HAD SEVERAL INCIDENTS OF LATE TIME ENTRY. We will be doing corrective actions on these. Let me remind all of you one more time – IF YOU HAVE A NOTE GO OVER 30 DAYS VMH DOES NOT GET PAID AND SUPERVISORS ARE REQUIRED TO DO CORRECTIVE ACTIONS – NO EXCUSES BECAUSE YOU HAVE 30 DAYS TO GET IT DONE! ALSO IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A GOAL IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO TALK WITH THE THERAPIST AND ASK FOR ONE – IF THEY DO NOT RESPOND PLEASE TALK WITH THEIR SUPERVISOR. A COMMON MISTAKE IS THERE MAY BE A GOAL BUT NOT THE CORRECT METHOD FOR THE SERVICE YOU PROVIDED. IF THIS IS THE CASE MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND YOU CAN ADD THE METHOD YOURSELF THE THERAPIST DOES NOT NEED TO DO THIS!!!"

(cowering in corner) please don't yell at me! i just peed my pants.

DEAR (supervisor), YOU NEED E-MAIL ETIQUETTE SCOOL. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOU'RE A LICENSED THERAPIST! CAN'T YOU THINK OF A MORE CONSTRUCTIVE WAY TO SAY, "write your notes, please. It's very important for funding. Also, I'm afraid that because there have been some infractions (NOT ME!) there will be consequences if this doesn't happen. Please contact me if you need help" THAT'S ALL IT TAKES, DOUCHEBAGUETTE!
LOVE,
P.

So, can I open an e-mail etiquette business?

Burning with righteous indignation (and love for you),
your next-to-perfect p.

1 comment:

pea in a pod said...

Peeing my pants with laughter. I like this new helpful "how to" series in our posts, pea. Next up: how to eat so much at the passover seder that you feel like puking and/or shitting the entire next day.

Also, "Douchebaguette" is a new classic.

P-