Monday, April 16, 2007

how to feel at home in a scary world

1) watch jon stewart, who is magnificent and smart and brave, and doesn't know how to talk about school shootings either

2) realize that your pea, whose attention you had hoped to draw to your recent flickr activity, had already been looking and commenting and sending love

3) delight in the fact that your pea's lovely eyes are drawn to all the same beautiful and crazy shit in your neighborhood that you love the most, dream of future walking (and talking) tours

4) confess to your pea that you haven't looked at her flickr site since your jealous, private, three-year-old tantrum about her trip to Zim's without you

5) devise, with the help of your darling brother whose birthday just passed, a new favorite game. it's very simple, and basically consists of inserting, with complete conviction and passion, random cliched movie quotes into daily conversation, apropos of nothing. examples:

Co-worker: Hey, I like your hat!
Me: I don't even KNOW you anymore.

Stranger on the bus: Pardon me, do you have the time?
Me: I was BORN ready!

Stranger on the street: Can you tell me how to find 5th avenue?
Me: You can't HANDLE the truth!

Friend: Hey, did you read that article about Donald Rumsfeld?
Me: Rumsfeld is my MIDDLE NAME.

Waiter: Here's your omelet.
Me: My omelet...AND MY CURSE.

missing you and thinking about you every day,



pea in a pod said...

Oh good god, the new game is BRILLIANT! I like that (it seems) you could really use any cliche-ish thing and use it. Please assure me that you've used "I wish I knew how to quit you". Dude, that would be so good for so many random interactions.

"Can I have your account number?"
"I wish I knew how to quit you"

pea in a pod said...

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. that's to show that I'm still laughing about the game.

pea in a pod said...

"Would you like paper, or plastic?"

"Nobody puts baby in a corner!"

pea in a pod said...

"Would you like that deposited into checking or savings?"


pea in a pod said...


I also would have accepted: