Miss my Pumpkin

Dearest P-is-for-Pumpkin,

Remembering Thanksgiving several years ago, me with pink hair and you with delicious cheese. Wish we could do it again this year.



All my love,

P

One answer.

Sustainable

My sweetest of Peas!

My heart is with you on this subject. Please don't take diet pills. Or get tucked or snipped or anything else. You are perfect and flawless as you are. I know this is an obnoxious mom-ish kind of thing to say, and I have also found it infuriating when my mom says it to me, but it is true.

Problem is, that doesn't solve the problem. My therapist and I were talking yesterday about this very issue. I talked about the good days: eating well and exercising and feeling great. I talked about the bad days: marathon eating from start to finish. Then, I talked about the worst days: starting out well with grapefruit and scrambled egg whites in the morning; moving to a healthy salad and soup for lunch; and then dissolving into desperation with a too-large greasy dinner and intermittent snacking right until bedtime. Her question was simple: "Do you know how to eat?" I was startled and a little offended. Yes, from the high chair and "here comes the airplane," I have indeed evolved into an adult human who can use her opposable thumbs to pick up a fork, thanks. Yes, I understand about food groups and three meals a day, as I am not a complete fucking imbecile. The more I thought about it, however, the more I realized that she is right; at a very basic level, I don't know how to put together a day's worth of meals, or to plan in advance to do this every day for an entire week, or to develop a practice that allows me to do this sanely for the rest of my life. She gave me the number for a nutritionist. I'm hoping she can provide me with a plan of attack. When I get up in the morning, what do I do? What do I prepare, and how much? What do I do after that? And after that?

I'll let you know how it goes. In the meantime, try snacking on raw sugar snap peas. I ate a whole bunch for lunch yesterday, and with every sweet bite I thought of you.

All my love,

P-


P.S. I added a new fave blog to our links; check it out. Pretty scary shit.

It's been a long time... (and diet drugs)

I miss the blog. Oh, and I miss you too, P. Even before I realized (with a roll of the stomach) that's it's NaBloPoMo, I thought that I should try to post one time every day. To sort it all out or to figure out if there's anything I can make with a keyboard that means anything other than "LOOK AT ME! I CAN'T SHUT UP ABOUT MYSELF!"

I had a dinner with friends on Saturday that, though mostly pleasant, was maybe 2 and a half hours too long. I was sitting with a beautiful plate of scallops and butternut squash ravioli in front of me and suddenly, I realized that I was sitting at a table that were it my dissertation would be titled "Eating Dysfunction: the Deconstruction of Diet Pills and Plastic Surgery." My pals exchanged stories about the diet pills and or prescribed uppers they're misusing for weight loss. Also, plastic surgery. Also, how can we push our food around our plates for an hour and appear to have eaten?

Not the way I'd like to enjoy a meal with friends. I felt so sad. I'm 33 and now, more than ever, I'm in the middle of a highly appealing eating disorder culture. I don't want it, I don't want to feel like I need it, but it's there. I got all kinds of tips about how to fake ADD or order Phen-fen from a company in India via a special club that sounds more than a little illegal.

Who are we? I made it through my teens and twenties and now, when everyone's supposed to be finally, happily settling into their own skin, I feel a little like a self-righteous idiot for not partaking of the short-cuts that are all around me.

I ordered diet pills yesterday.

xoxo
p

Dear Al Gore,

I have a friend without a blog. Here's what he told me. Now I'm telling you:

I'm thinking about writing an open letter to Gore in my blog, urging him not only to run, but also providing him with a campaign strategy. I worked it all out in my head just yesterday: his grand narrative, which the media would eat up like dogs, would be that he's a Cassandra-like visionary, with the internet, with the environment, withIraq. And now, with the future of America. I am deeply underwhelmed by all the candidates in the field, all of whom refuse to take on real issues with any substance. Only a Gore candidate could change the political dialogue: Gore loves the intellectual part of figuring out solutions to tough problems, and I'm sure he's already got ideas on all the major challenges facing our nation in the years to come. And Gore would rather talk substance than shit. He would force the other candidates to reckon with his visionary approach and come up with their own concrete plans. But in order to do that, Gore must have answers: real policy proposals, foreign and domestic. He must have an exit strategy for Iraq, a plan to deal with Iran, a health care plan, ideas for paying down the deficit and strengthening the economy in the face of the E.U. and Chinese threat, a full-scale Climate Change policy, and ways to prepare for retiring and dying baby-boomers (Social Security, Medicare, etc.) His campaign watch-word will be: VisionQuest! Also in my blog, I would unveil my master stroke, my genius maneuver for how Gore could defeat Hillary. It's very simple: Gore must joinforces with Obama. Make him his running mate -- even before the nomination! That's the brilliance of it. A month or so into Gore's candidacy, he should start campaigning with Obama, generating a huge buzz of excitement. They should deny everything, until their campaign staffs integrate, agree on a way forward, and figure out all the legal issues. The press would be frothing at the mouth, and Dems would be out of their minds. Can you imagine a Gore-Obama ticket?! Finally, after a couple weeks of speculation and media hysteria -- say 4 weeksbefore the Iowa Caucus -- they should annonce their joint candidacy. Hillary would be toast. I would write all that in my blog to Gore. If I had a blog.

I'd write that in MY blog, if I had thought to write it at all.
Love,
Your ever-loving, always faithful, deepest, truest fan,
SLC-P

how would you respond?

... if you got the following chain letter in your inbox?

Like a lot of folks in this country , I have a job.I work, they pay me.I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as they see fit.In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test, which I have no problem with.What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check,because I have to pass one to earn it for them ?Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet.I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sit on their ass, and buy dope and booze with my hard earned money.Could you imagine how much money the government would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check ?Please Pass on if you agree.

I can tell you that MY BRAIN MATTER IS ALL OVER THE COMPUTER SCREEN.

where a line should be drawn.

When there's not enough time in my day to check Perez Hilton even once, I know that things have gone way, way too far. And also that I'm not being paid enough. If I were paid enough, I'd have someone else read Perez for me.